On our first lesson, we are going to talk about happiness. How many of us are on a trip for ages in order to find this so simple yet so complex feeling? Nobody knows exactly how it works, yet so many of us pretend they found it.
The question is, why do we lie to ourselves? Why are we so desperate to avoid admitting that we have no clue how it feels.
What is this feeling?
The state of feeling happy is not permanent and achieving it varies from one person to another. The research suggests that being happy is a combination of how satisfied you are with your life. Work, relationships and even material objects can influence the way you feel and contribute to feeling it.
The tranquillity of your mind and calmness of your journey is happiness. If you live your life with excitement and feel full of joy, you are happy. Your feelings fluctuate and you can even feel down sometimes, that does not necessarily translate to being unhappy, just a bit down.
How do you recognise that you are happy? This is a more difficult question to which the only one who can answer is…to your surprise…you.
Advantages and Disadvantages
Useless to say that the biggest advantage in having an encounter with this feeling is…well…being happy. Happiness is what keeps you going in life, it is the boost behind you that keeps pushing and giving you the strength to overcome any obstacles.
Without happiness, it seems like your life has no purpose. Happiness is hope, joy and enjoying everything you gained in life. It is all about taking a breath and viewing your past, your present and rising towards a bright future. That is happiness and everything you do and feel relates to it.
Happiness can easily be a combination of multiple feelings. Love, joy, passion, interest, serenity, hope, kindness, cheerfulness and more. It is a container for what went well in your life – and if your container is empty, you should start reconsidering your way of living.
The main disadvantage is the illusion you are happy. Sometimes people are so eager to finally say “I’m happy” that they lie to themselves and actually end up feeling down and taking actions they wouldn’t normally take – like doing drugs.
Solutions and Improvements
As much as I’d like to give you a recipe on how to reach this state, I cannot. Not because I do not want to, but because just like you, I am seeking this state of mind for a long time and have tried all sorts of methods to achieve it, to no success.
It isn’t easy and people understand it better than others, but that’s no reason to feel down or quit. Keep trying, because in the end, it’s more like an objective in your life.
The same way you set your mind into making money or becoming a better father, you should have an objective “reaching happiness”. Because as many other things, it requires a lot of work and patience.
Are you sick of your job? Find a better one which gives you joy and calmness. Do you hate your partner? Leave him/her and stop trying to adapt to different moments of your life.
I recommend you take one hour per week of your life and reflect on your decisions of that specific week. Did the decisions give you joy and do you fill closer to being fulfilled in life? If not, what can you improve? What are you going to change so that the next week will be better?
In terms of happiness, I have a lot to say, but I think you guys are already sleepy by now so I will cut it simple.
Being a really depressed human being, it was difficult for me to find meaning in happiness or to even try to reach it. One day I tried to follow my own advice of reflecting over the decisions I make, so I started to improve.
In terms of career, I am close to the peak. Without being modest, I achieve things people at my age would only dream of. On my own. That…did not work. With money the only things that came are bigger bills and more useless expenses.
Then I switched to helping people because you know: help others to help yourself. I thought I might be one of those persons that feel happy of other people’s joy. That did not work either.
I basically tried almost everything: finding a hobby, following my passions,
There is a silly need I have, ever since I started to understand how the world works. Love. I have been always believed humans are not solitary living beings, but everyone needs a partner to fully enjoy and fulfil their lives.
That being said, it was clear to me. What I missed the most is having someone with whom I can share every single moment I enjoy and love. Not a random person I meet at a bar and have a night out. A person with whom I can connect physically and on a mental level. Someone that can make me a better human being.
Oh boy, and when I found such a person, it was all fireworks and butterflies. Everything felt so natural, everything felt so surreal. Time was frozen while we were floating around. I couldn’t care less about anything and the world became me and her.